From The Times March 21, 2009 Letter to my daughter

ESTHER FREUD


Esther Freud has written six novels, the first of which, Hideous Kinky, was made into a film. She is married to the actor David Morrissey and they have three children. Her daughter, Anna, is 11.

My lovely girl

I want the world for you, but much more than that – and I don’t care if it’s a cliché – I want you to be happy. If I had magic powers I’d wish on you the ability to take pleasure in small things – a swim in the sea, a good book read on a rug in a summer garden, a delicious meal shared with friends. I say this because when I was 21 I wrote in my diary: “What am I going to do!!! Nothing’s happening. What if it never does?” I laughed, even a few years later when I came across this entry, but what I regret most about my panicked 21-year-old self is that I forgot to live in the present. I was so concerned with the future and my place in it that I forgot to luxuriate in being young.
You’re 11 now, halfway to 21, and I’d be fooling myself if I imagined the girl that you are now, sometimes soft and loving, at others fierce and scowling, will change so much. And probably I don’t want you to. I see you, tall and graceful, your luscious hair and sloping eyes, your curves, your abundantly long lashes, the satin of your skin – just as you are now but even more so. I’m with you as you look into the mirror and I would do anything to give you the gift of loving yourself as much as I love you. Of seeing your reflection and thinking how lucky you are to be you. I never want you to deprive yourself of food, to twist round and ask whether your bum looks big, to lie awake at night, as every girl I’ve ever met has done, and promise yourself that tomorrow you’ll start that diet.
But then again, I think if I hadn’t been so restless I wouldn’t have the life that I have now, with all the things I love in it, with you in it. So, as well as living in the present, I hope you’ll be courageous, seize opportunities, take risks, travel. I imagine you’ll still be bursting with the same ideas you have now just as I’m steering you up to bed – to draw an Aztec mask, carve a spoon from fire wood, make a pattern for a dress. I can see you, kneeling on the floor of your own room – where will it be? – bringing your creations to life, with no one telling you it would be best to wait until the morning.
I’m not going to let myself think of the dangers waiting, the experiments with drugs and drink and men. Will you have already discovered just how easy it is to get pregnant? How hard it is to say no to a group of glamorous friends urging you to get into an unsafe car? Or will you be one of the lucky ones? Mature for your years. Will I?
Instead, I imagine you surrounded by adoring boyfriends. I hope that growing up sandwiched between two brothers will have given you useful tools to negotiate your way with them. “Pity the admirers,” we’ve laughed occasionally, as you swish through the house, sharpening your tongue, irritated by everything your brothers do, but then again, maybe love will soften your defences. Give you back to yourself, as it did for me. You don’t always believe it, but usually others want what’s best for you, they’re not trying to trick you, they’re mostly on your side. At least I hope they will be.
But whatever I want for you, I know you’ll go your own way. It’s traditional for daughters not to listen to their mothers, not till much later, at least. So even if I wistfully remind you of the day you decided to make your own calamari, or set up a stall selling home-made earrings outside the front door, what I really know is that you’ll have to be independent, and follow your own 21-year-old dreams. But however independent you become, don’t forget, whenever you need me, I’ll be there. If your heart is broken, or your workload is too heavy, or if you are consumed with worry that Nothing is ever going to Happen in your Life, please come to me and share your burden and I’ll remind you how we hold a bit of everything inside ourselves, weak and strong, and that as a child, although you still often woke in the dead of night and needed to be comforted, at other times you cycled down country lanes, no hands on the handlebars, or ran fearless into an ice-cold British sea.

THE TOWN

As he plans his next job, a longtime thief tries to balance his feelings for a bank manager connected to one of his earlier heists, as well as the FBI agent looking to bring him and his crew down. 벤애플릭 감독의 작품
히트 HEAT origin 인 것 같은데... 로버트 드니로와 알파치노.  

R.E.D

Retired but Extremely Dangerous 뉴질랜드 출신의 칼 어반과 좁은 사무실에서의 열혈 액션을 보여주는 브루스 윌리스의 노익장.  헬렌 미렌의 '파티 드레스 입은 채로 중화기' 액션.  핑크 돼지를 잡아야 겠다는 존 말코비치의 코믹 변신 압승.

<레드>는 동명의 DC코믹스 코믹북을 원작으로 하는 영화로 <시간여행자의 아내>의 로베르트 슈벤트케 감독이 연출.

로 피 드

헬보이의 친구가 아이로 태어나다.

Monsters, Buried, Skyline 2010

Monsters : 디스트릭트 9의 멕시코판이라고 할까. 멕시코의 풍광을 소개하면서, 멕시코의 치안에 대한 비꼬기도 있는데, 너무 멕시코를 않좋게 그려놔서.  흥미가 떨어지는 영화. 외계인의 움직임은 너무 부자연 스럽고. 나중에 사랑하는 장면은 질이 떨어지고.  소재는 좋은데.
SKYLINE : 졸다고 보니까. 하늘에서 본 외계인 움직이는 장면은 마치 사람을 위에서 찍어서 화면에 업어치기한 모습인데. 무슨 아바타, 2012제작진이냐, 피터잭슨의 고무인간의 최후 보다 못한 영화 불량품이다.
반면,
Buried : 묻히다.   폐소공포증을 유발할 수 있는 영화이다. 약간 그런 성격이 있는데..  연기하다가 몇번이나 기절했다는 얘기. 손을 라이터에 데었다는 얘기.  실제로 이라크에서 있었다는 얘기.  마지막 장면은 미드에서 나오는 얘기였던것 같기도 하고.
아무튼 90분을 홀로 연기하는데 박수를 보낸다. 그리고, 관속에서 180도 회전은 같이 힘을 써주어야 제맛이라는 것. 에드가 알란 포우가 창조하고, [스푸어루스]가 발견한 '생매장'이라는 소재는 영화 역사상 가장 끔찍하고 소름끼치는 폐쇄의 공간이라 할 수 있다.  히치콕에게서 영향을 받았다고 고백한 감독 로드리고 코르테즈는 이런 생매장의 공간을 거의 극한까지 밀어붙인다
추가.
방가방가 : 외국인 노동자를 위한 영화라고 말하지 말자. 외국인 노동자를 폄하하는 얘기와 장면들 뿐이다.

Unstoppable 2010

Scott Free라고 했다.  무설탕 커피처럼 진한 맛을 내는 토니 스콧 감독의 영화. 토니 스콧에 줄줄이 나타나는 배우들. 덴젤 워싱턴.
기차라면 사족을 못쓰는 7살짜리 애가 기차달리는 것을 너무 좋아한 영화임.
Railworks의 초보자가 할 하나의 실사라고 할까. Free Train.
내가 너무 피곤하고 한글 자막도 없고. 더군다나 적도 나타나지 않으니 중간에 졸아 버렸다.

animal kingdom 2009

호주영화의 한 획을 그은 걸작.

호주 강도일가의 터프한 드라마.
내 눈엔 단지 마약 일가와 친구들의 만연한 삶으로 4계절이 뚜렷한 나라에서는 상상하기 힘든 영화임.